The Muppets are stuck in a rut. Years after their last movie, their bosses at Disney don’t seem to know what to do with them. Kermit the Frog watched his found family drift apart once before, and deep in his felted froggy heart, he’s afraid it'll happen again.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew has the solution: A new invention to travel into fictional universes. (Don’t worry about Beaker! Beaker’s fine. He’s probably fine.) Could the MCU hold the key to get the Muppets back in the zeitgeist?

Ignoring Kermit’s doubts, the Muppets plunge into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Suddenly, Miss Piggy’s sharing karate-chop tips with the Black Widow. Gonzo the Great just got recruited by the Guardians of the Galaxy. And Fozzie Bear … look, the Wakandan incident was all a big misunderstanding.

But a sinister force in the MCU has plans of its own for the Muppets. It won’t let them leave, even if it has to tear apart two universes in the process. With the walls between worlds crumbling, Kermit must embark on a madcap journey through the Marvel multiverse, enlisting the help of Earth’s mightiest heroes to save his friends and all of reality.

Download PDF

This started as an epically deranged pitch I came up with for the fine folks at The Incomparable. But the story just wouldn’t leave my brain, and I got so excited about it that I just had to actually write the thing. I had a blast writing this. I researched Frank Oz’s canonical origin story for Miss Piggy. Please help, there’s something terribly wrong with me.

I don’t like to engage in hyperbole or overstate my own abilities. But also, I feel confident that if it were actually made, this movie would gross more than $1 billion, and it would absolutely make you cry.